buzz, your girlfriend. WOOF.

to reference the "incident" in 114....

the trip to the bar on monday started innocently enough. i was summoned there by a few of the hotel guests who saw me earlier in a sundress and could barely contain themselves. whatever, creepy horny construction guys dont bother me, as long as they're buying me things.

but then we got to the bonus round of Wheel of Unfortunate Losers: BUZZ.

also a hotel guest (obviously) and hot as shit. seriously. 6'4", tan, tattoos, nice smile, whole package. dumb as a doorknob, but we're not gonna be studying for the MCATs during our time together, so whatever. im thrilled at the prospect of getting to know him, a.k.a. seeking him naked. THEN i find out that hes Army. Buzz has no idea that he just said the magic words.

so me, buzz, chase, and dimi (a friend of chase's) head back to the hotel. and right away i am literally MAULED. in front of the other two guys. im wearing a dress that has no room for error. the infamous LEFT BOOB actually makes an appearance at the party. chase and i lock eyes for a minute and i consider flinging myself out the window (unfortunately we're on the first floor) luckily, my good friend jose cuervo convinced me that this was not a big deal -- pop it back in and move on.

so after i gave chase and dimi the heave-ho, we had sex several times. GOOD. GREAT. AMAZING. its not weird when i go to leave, which is good, although he mentions something to me on the way out that was odd. something about a girl bringing his dog to the hotel tomorrow morning. whatever, im tired, and i'd rather not listen to him speak when i could be home sleeping.

turns out, its his GIRLFRIEND dropping off the dog. wtf. how does this always happen to me? im obviously not going to say anything to this girl, but this is just insane. i work here. i socialize here. and now i have to SEE HER?

im glad i did see her. she is BUSTED. stripper fat. armband tattoo. smokers voice. dead behind the eyes. i win. i feel validated. i ESPECIALLY win bc the sheets she and her loving boyfriend were sleeping on were the very same ones that i did what i do best on the day before. hotels dont change the sheets every day in an extended stay, FYI.

hes staying here 5 days a week for the next 2 months. we'll see how this goes.... <3>